all the leaves are brown
and this guy is greg
Underrated benefit of being a divorce lawyer in a small town: I have a trusted mechanic, roofer, hairdresser, nurse practitioner, painter, veterinarian, and plumber that I can dial up in any emergency.
I am so honored to have won the “Workplace Menace” award. This award is given annually to the Workplace Menace. Also I am not employed here
Mind bending shirt from Baltimore Comic Con. My brain hurts.
why is being alive so expensive. I’m not even having a good time.
Safety Announcement: Please stop texting, playing games, making phone calls or filming videos for social media when taking off or landing. You already have enough to do as a pilot.
*walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere*
Me: Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft.
Passengers always complaint about airport prices, but where else can you get a burger for only £5?
“you look easy to draw”
Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him
(grounding my kid) go outside.
My son came out as gay recently, I told him that it is all OK (of course) and that I always knew. Truth is I didn’t have a fucking clue. I thought the other one was gay, and he’s now had three kids with three women. I’m the owner of the world’s least accurate Gaydar.
So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Murdery Steve, he has never been questioned”
honey, bring out the fine china.
