Never let kids google names of Pokémon characters unsupervised, Squirtle in particular
Never let kids google names of Pokémon characters unsupervised, Squirtle in particular
Wise advice
My daughter found and ate my hidden chocolate and her reason was she thought they were for everyone.
That
“I can’t believe I own a Tesla!” I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do to help?
One time I screamed so hard about a professional athlete not playing through an injury I blew out my back and couldn’t work for a week.
shaved my legs in case there’s someone hot and single aboard the ufo
I can usually tell when a movie doesn’t use real dinosaurs.
I’m hungry what’s for dinner I ask but there’s no one home except for the dog and he isn’t cooking so kibble and doggy biscuits it is.
Lunatics are gonna loon.
MY DOG (sitting at the dining room table, doing his homework): What does anthropomorphise mean?
Honest job application:
On the whole I’ll do a perfectly adequate job. I’m quiet but not in an odd way. I won’t cause any fuss. Good at hoping people are well in emails (won’t use too many exclamation marks). Generally a good egg.
Boss: ok you’ve made some big sales, but can you do more?
Me: <makes bigg sale>
Today’s short poem is called ‘Passwords’.
