When they try to steal your moment.
Early morning work meeting, boss kept telling us to “lean in”
I leaned in so much, I fell asleep at my desk.
Always the bridesmaid, never the person about to make the worst mistake of her adult life
You can’t hurt me, you’re not Amazon Prime telling me that I might also like Crocs.
When you’re single and decide to go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day.
Take 9 seconds. Be this happy
My kid made up a song that goes “I love you and would do anything for you except clean” like some kind of 7yo Meat Loaf
Me: I’d like one wet wipe please
Wet wipe packet: the best I can do is 10
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
My wife handles our kids like a boss. The only problem is she make me do it too 😂
first you must answer his riddles
Friend: How’d you lose your voice?
Me: By failing at gentle parenting.