I never had children but I still get to watch my dogs find clever ways to avoid eating broccoli.
When I say I learnt it on the streets… Just know i’m paying respect to Big Bird and that counting vampire guy
It’s me against the world! That’s how gravity works
You know you are old when you say “I’m old” and nobody wants to object to it.
I tried some new stretches, and now I’ve been stuck on the floor for 23 minutes.
Only the dog is happy about this.
Being married means never admitting you were the last one to see the item that is now lost.
Thinking about crashing people’s romantic dinner and screaming “Who is she?”
Has anyone tried sacrificing a billionaire to the old gods?
Mark Strong is Stanley Tucci’s dark twin and we don’t even talk about it.
wtf is this choreography 😭😭😭
im not paying that much money for ppl to watch me kiss someone im sorry u must be out of ur mind. $15 take it or leave it
do weddings actually cost like $50,000 or is everyone lying for fun
Ben Affleck works at Dunkin’ Donuts in their new #SuperBowl ad.
I blocked some guys and another guy said good job and I blocked him too.