Dane Cook: I’m dating a 23 year old
Leonardo DiCaprio: hold my beer
Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend: I can’t
So HR says it’s “unacceptable” to bring my lunch in a bottle and that vodka “isn’t soup”
Best spot.. 😅
so my neighbor and i both had mouse sightings this week. here’s how our landlord responded:
The Professor Banned Laptops In Class. Too Bad College Kids Are Petty!😂😭😭
asked my roommate for an update on my cat tofu and she sent me this 😭
It finally happened: someone asked me where the library was in Spanish. I’ve been training for this since high school.
Spy balloons monitor our skies and our psyche
Everyone says this ChatGPT is as smart as a person, but I won’t be inpressed until I know which person.
I hope that when I die I’ll say something cool like, “I’m splitsville, baby! Gone-zo!” instead of something stupid like “AAURGH”
sleep researchers agree that it may sound fun to set a favorite song as your wakeup alarm, but it will quickly make you hate the song. That’s why the scientific consensus is for everyone to use Drops Of Jupiter instead
When guys tweet selfies they should totally place a few cartons of eggs into the background “accidentally” so women know they can afford eggs.
when I was your age we had to wait 10 minutes to log into the internet
and we liked it