I’m the most spontaneous person in the world when it comes to making a decision to stay at home.
If you hit a person with a Tesla
will you be charged for battery?#OneLinersDay #RubbishJokes #DadJokes
Christmas tree still up?
that’s a cat tree now.
Problem solved.
One man’s trash is another man’s why the f*** is your trash in my yard.
What’s the opposite of irony?
Crinkly.
#RubbishJokes #DadJokes
women at the gym use every other treadmill like men do urinals
Thoughts and prayers for this lady who tried to make her purse lighter by throwing out a couple of visiting cards.
Didn鈥檛 realize my teen was annoyed with me until she ordered a Coke at lunch even though we鈥檙e a Pepsi family.
Carrying a tube of pringles like a waiter presenting a fine bottle of wine
Both hands Mommy!
-my 4yo the backseat driver.
I just want the confidence of a youtuber who suddenly thinks they can sing
This is meant to give your cat a seat at the table but it could totally be a whack-a-mole game instead
*taking an x-ray of a patient* ok now a silly one