is this how new cars are made??
I believe this to be the best photograph of a dog ever taken in human history.
I’ll do anything for you as long as I don’t have to get out of this chair.
What’s a vampire’s favorite ship?
A blood vessel…
women in PHLEGM (Philosophy, History, Languages, English Literature, Geography, Music)
im not pinning my selfies. forage for me like a little rat
Whosoever eateth the last brownie shall forever be shamed
So Ive started a sarcasm club.
It would mean the world to me if you joined.
Play monopoly on the first date so you know what you’re getting into
When the rapture happens at a midwestern nondenominational church.
“You probably can’t even tell, but there was an incident with the shower curtain”
My parents and in-laws are visiting for the weekend. Whose around for a consensual kidnapping of me until Monday?
May you never lose your sense of wonder.