Get your ski mask. We’re pulling off a popsicle factory heist. I got the strawberry shortcakes. Leave no creamsicle behind.
Never forget that your fave celebs are trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.
Me)Print
Printer)No
Me)Print
Printer)No
Me)PRINT
Printer)No
Me)PRINT!!!
Printer)Here’s 8,000
I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.
I just want my kid to do what I say when I say it but at the same time be a free thinker that doesn’t just accept whatever is told to him. Is that really so much to ask?
Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.
just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos
Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes
My father just called me to tell me that my voicemail is full so no one can leave me a message and this is the best news I’ve had all week.
Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.
my parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off
What’s the most baby state? Washington because WA
4: I’m hungry.
Me: Want some eggs?
4: No.
Me: Yogurt?
4: No.
Me: Frosted Flakes?
4: [excited] FROSTED…FLAKES??
Me: Would you like some?
4: No.
Sarah Ross, on Facebook, handed out full-size candy bars. She also put a potato in the bowl. 🥔
My husband Scott and I don’t have much of a sex life anymore. I’ve been getting off Scott free for years