My 5-year-old “is the milk from nice cows?” Idk dude just eat your cereal
I have been lowering the tone for so long now that I am effectively operating solely in infrasound frequencies which can only be heard by whales.
And they are appalled.
what is joe biden’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat
I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for my 6 year old son’s toys on Christmas morning.
My kids, when I tell them, “Stop trying to talk over one another. If you each want to tell me something, tell me one at a time, so I can understand you.”
What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.
i wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes ?
I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.
Me: Can we discuss my X-ray?
Doctor: We can try, but I never met him
feeling dizzy
highly recommended, many stars
Interviewer: This isn’t a glamorous position.
Me: I understand. I’m willing to do anything.I: We expect you to arrive before sunrise.
Me: No problem.I: Carry 50lb bags of grain.
Me: I’m your girl.I: Muck the stalls.
Me: Of course.I: Answer the phone —
Me: I’m out.
Remember that time that thing happened and you laughed when you weren’t supposed to laugh? People are still mad about that.
You could never commit the JFK assassination today. You’d be cancelled
Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples
A hippo’s favourite desert is hippopota-mousse.
#MousseDay #RubbishJokes