i wonder if the inventor of rotisserie chicken is turning in his grave
Me: I can’t sleep
My cat: lol what if I walked all over you right now
Architect: so for the bathroom-
Contractor: I’m thinking the most smooth, slippery tile imaginable
Architect: hell ya we want that baby to be a death trap
photographer: alright guys, now let’s do a silly one
I am never leaving this website
Enjoy this video of ducks changing their minds
Just remembered when my high school changed the dress code to forbid “non-human-colored hair,” and this girl showed up with neon-pink braids the next day, and when they tried to send her home her mom said “I’m her colorist and I am in fact human.”
I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ug-ly 😭😂
Therapist: You saw the red flags though. right?
Me: I thought it was a carnival
“don’t tell your girl”
me to my girl : and she said i shouldn’t tell you imagine
just overheard a guy walk into the bathroom and say “showtime” to himself as he sat down on the toilet
i be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb
instead of texting “on my way” im a just send this