“As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?”
A particularly friendly email response from me could mean either:
a) I am happily responding to you.
b) I’ve never wanted to kill someone more but I want you to do the thing that I’ve asked.
“The lights are on but nobody’s home” is such a brutal way to say somebody’s dumb 😭😭😭😭😭
This one takes the trophy 😭😭
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. Wdym you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?
I’m at that point on a Monday where no.
all the leaves are brown
and this guy is greg
Underrated benefit of being a divorce lawyer in a small town: I have a trusted mechanic, roofer, hairdresser, nurse practitioner, painter, veterinarian, and plumber that I can dial up in any emergency.
I am so honored to have won the “Workplace Menace” award. This award is given annually to the Workplace Menace. Also I am not employed here
Mind bending shirt from Baltimore Comic Con. My brain hurts.
why is being alive so expensive. I’m not even having a good time.
Safety Announcement: Please stop texting, playing games, making phone calls or filming videos for social media when taking off or landing. You already have enough to do as a pilot.
*walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere*
Me: Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft.
Passengers always complaint about airport prices, but where else can you get a burger for only £5?
