For my second date with my husband we met in NYC and went to a party and ended up at a McDonald’s at 3:00 AM where he reached across the table, grabbed my hands, looked at me adoringly, and said “I hate this. I wanted to go to bed at 9:00. Do not expect this of me again.”
My newest way to win marital arguments is to interrupt and say “as your legal counsel” and then state my point. It hasn’t worked yet and seems to make him madder but I think with the right amount of persistence I’ll crack the code.
Tried biscuits in gravy. Not sure why Americans rave about it.
!!!!!!!!!!!
don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. show them you can’t.
boys are so easy to impress
Two weeks until Canadian Thanksgiving. Better start defrosting the beaver.
a gay boyfriend is kinda like a brother you have sex with
💀 😭
i wonder if hootie ever experimented with other kinds of fish
banana peels are my favorite fall accessories
What are some weird things about living in the modern world?
I’m a regular customer of a restaurant that I’ve never been to.
Door dash is the closest thing I’ll ever experience to being actual royalty like bring me a dozen freshly made donuts and a bottle of your finest bourbon!
But your majesty, it’s 9:30 at night and…
I said be quick about it!