How could I possibly be dehydrated? I drank a bottle of wine just last night
If he was arranged diagonally would you call him Slanta?
BECAUSE IT’S A PERVERT
The first snow has arrived and now we will see how many don’t know how to drive
As 2021 closes, I am reminded of a saying.
Time flies like an arrow…
But fruit flies like a banana.
what idiot decided to call it “the Iliad & the Odyssey” and not Troy Story and Troy Story 2
i hear the new batman movie is so long because there’s a scene where bruce wayne withdraws the entirety of his bank account but he asks for it all in ones and then counts it all while facing the camera
It’s hard to tell because most pictures are in black and white, but Abraham Lincoln’s hat was actually a nice mauve.
People joke about being left hangin, but it’s not funny to me. My cousin died from an unrequited high five.
My boss, Mr Yogurtson, just reprimanded me for not eating yogurt in a meeting
Oh I’m heartbroken over you
Wait, no I was just thirsty, I’m fine
“Why don’t traffic cops wear pullovers?” and other questions that I ponder at 3:30 a.m.
I think the cat got the dog high.
What if the “Silent Majority” is just people who don’t wear corduroys?
If cooking blogs were tweets:
Here’s how to make really easy sugar cookies!
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