What is going on here?
Is Rudolph using a magnifying glass to turn his nose into a raygun?
And who is the reindeer brandishing the cane?
Love this one 😂🧟
True
i asked my dad to send me a photo of his passport and he sent me a photo of the front of his closed passport
Twitter,
I told my 10 year old it was too late for chocolate and I’d get us a yoghurt. We sat and ate them. I then went upstairs and ate the kit kat I’d snuck in my sling.
#oldknees
Learn from your failures. For example, I will never eat Cheetos immediately before a job interview again.
I bought a ton of veggies from the farmer’s market and straightaway made some instant noodles cause life is all about balance.
Don’t Photoshop them into your profile pic after the first date. That’s weird. Wait until the second one.
Him: I gave up drinking, partying and casual sex for the new year
Me: I gave up.
Drinking, partying and casual sex for the new year
LOIS LANE: let’s watch the super bowl
CLARK KENT: ok *takes glasses off regular bowl*
Ughhhh my neck is killing me ..
*how I slept
[bank heist get away]
Chad the Thief: I can’t believe…
Gary the driver: Look, it’s the only vehicle I could get.
Chad: But an ice cream van…
Gary:
Chad: Can you at least turn the music off?
If I ever get remarried, I am walking down the aisle to the theme song from Jaws.
I decided to stop wearing bamboo t-shirts after I got attacked by a family of koalas.