heck is a place for people who don’t believe in gosh. danged for eternity.
just saw hunger games and woah, when did all that stuff happen? so messed up dude
People with good posture are so reckless. Why are you sticking your head into the sky with all the crows and frisbees? Come back down here where it’s safe.
*looks at phone to check the time
*watches TikTok videos for 4 hours
Using my new fishing technique I have taunted all the fish in the pond that if they weren’t stupid dumb cowards they would come on land and fight me. Now, we wait.
My 13yo son pays monthly for Snapchat+ so he can get a better Bitmoji and I would probably make fun of this if I hadn’t previously paid for Favstar
First Date RED FLAGS:
He brings a bottle of his mom’s perfume and asks you to put some on
A fun thing about parenthood is that even when you get to close the bathroom door you’re never really alone
That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item
Jeff Golblum playing a Star Wars producer: hmmmlaser swords you say? Mmm hmmm ha ha ha, okay, but here’s the thing I want there to be a small frog man to have one of those …laser swords? do I have that right? yeah
The cats activated the rainbow portal again
It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.
you know covid done screwed everything up when you get into a car accident with a small plane.. you don’t even panic you guys just exchange insurance information.
Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?
Remember you could bludgeon your enemy King with a wheel of cheese and eat the evidence.