Day 9: I mean, who needs New Year’s resolutions anyway
Archeology has taught us that our ancestors were skeletons that lived underground and drank from broken cups.
my kid climbed into the tub fully naked and still I found leaves in there after
had to make it
“The biblical Noah is no different than say, a Pokemon master, collecting God’s creatures for his own amusement,” I casually mention during the staff meeting while waiting for my PowerPoint to load
6: I want to grow my hair longer.
Me: Oka—
6: So I can bite it.
Me:
My favorite part of my husband working from home is that our 6YO critiques all his conference calls.
“I think you should say ‘don’t get me wrong’ instead of ‘let me be clear’ next time daddy, it just sounds better.”
Me: I know every word of the Golden Girls theme song!
Job interviewer:…and a weakness?
When you’re Godzilla every city is a walkable city
Hugh Jackman denies ever taking steroids to transform into Wolverine:
“I had been told what the side effects are… I don’t love my job that much.”
bolsonaro eating kfc for the first time then immediately being rushed to the hospital is more evidence for my theory that the american gut biome is uniquely strong and the primary tool we have to maintain our dominance as a world superpower into the 21st century
Geez man, take it easy.
The Art Institute has many world-famous masterpieces but more importantly it has this little freak
My mom’s 60-something friend was set up with a 67-year-old guy who is “not looking for anything serious” in case you think that ever ends
Today’s Google Searches, Thanksgiving Edition:
