Dude last night asked me “do you walk like that on purpose?” and I’ll think about it forever
My wife: “Do you even like writing?”
Me: “I like having written.”
two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg we should totally start a pamphlet”
I think about this cartoon a lot.
Daughter: Want a cake for your birthday.
Me: No, cakes are expensive.
Daughter: It’s not the cake, it’s all those candles!
5 days of cooking sausages lol I love this story
Everyone is entitled to a couple conspiracy theories, but is safe to say Elvis is probably dead by now?
If it hurts you more than it hurts them then you are holding the taser wrong
Still the weirdest shit to me how the mario movie did the “aw I just want my dad to support me and my dream” plot but instead of like being a musician, Mario wants to be a plumber. Which is a pretty grounded reasonable thing to want to do.