Some people are so fake there lock screens don’t recognise them
Told my twins at their basketball game to slay and don’t be beta skibidi and it felt like a dream to embarrass two kids at once.
New skill unlocked
When I sprayed my foot with tinactin my 6yo asked what it was for and I told him athletes foot then he said “but daddy you’re not an athlete” and I am so sad that he’ll never understand how sick the burn was that he delivered.
Required: An app that turns the page of the calendar that’s on the wall.
genius
“You have such a great personality”
Me: Thanks, I collect them
in other news congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me
Don’t you feel like the bed sometimes traps us? 🛌😅 #wawawiwacomics
