[dying]
[pop-up message before my eyes] Your life will begin to pass in front of you after this advertisement
The “Is it a bird? Is it a plane” trope makes it canon that Superman flies in a T-pose
When did kale arrive? 2007? Must’ve come via spaceship. I had never heard of it in my life. And then suddenly, it was everywhere. It had hearty advocates; & it had many, many detractors. How does a thing, kale, go from not existing to being ubiquitous? Spaceships. Only answer.
Just got a coffee at the airport and then remember they have beer and now I’m awake and sad
The old expression “dollars to donuts” accurately describes my method of currency exchange.
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting
Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.
honestly the best covid defense mechanism is just to smell really terrible when you leave the house. put on a shirt you get really sweaty in during a manic episode, the pheremone stench will give you a wide berth at the post office
“Ah yes, well, the laws of quantum mechanics” is what I’m going to start saying, very pretentiously, when someone says something I don’t understand.
I’m no well-mannered seagull but I think they chose the wrong picture
The DaVinci Code but it’s just me trying to unlock the secret to why there are so many crumbs in my toddler’s bed
*watches someone skateboard off a roof
…hold my beer
Haha good job!!
Me drunk dialling “oh sorry wrong number”, my Dad “now wait a minute”.
A tenable situation implies the existence of an elevenable situation