Today the vet told me “you have a really good dog” and I said I know she’s perfect and holds my mental health on her little shoulders and she laughed nervously and said “oh no, that’s pretty heavy” and i was like damn dude, ok??? you can tell, huh? Alright calm down lol geez
Heard there was a new crazy RFK Jr story and then looked it up and was like, “Oh. He just had an affair.”
That’s normal terrible rich guy shit. I thought I was gonna find out he tried to put a gorilla in a Han Solo carbonite machine or something.
the stuff you read about yourself once you hit a certain number of followers is crazy. CIA family, makes $10k/ month, was on Reddit, communist, conservative, white supremacist, Jewish, white, gay, straight, etc. all this from being really into pants.
My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”😭
I already know how it will end…
One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.
I was an ugly baby.
It’s been downhill since then.
if you think my grammar is bad you should’ve met my grampar.
So it turns out that all my early 20 something co-workers have been speculating behind my back that I was a teen mom, but I can’t even be mad about it because it means they thought I was 28.
Excel is weird because you never know you aren’t that good at it, until you are asked to do something you’ve never heard of
I hate this language when a pastor has an affair.
“He fell”
Bro, what did he trip on? His own unbuckled pants?
A male goth is called a broth.
Rock stars’ children have very strange names.
