WEAR CLOTHES OTHERS DARE NOT.
Probably good whoever named this one didn’t get to name any other planets.
Working from home is the best. Whenever I take off my bra at the office, people get so weird.
The thing I like about Dawn dish detergent is that I can wash my dishes, my pets, my gentles, and my car with it, and still have some to drink later.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh.
Nothing, it was on the house.
#Christmas #RubbishJokes #AmazingFacts
Pack fruit in your lunch so it can decorate your desk until you take it home again.
i asked my husband to get something larger than the tiny bottle of olive oil he usually buys…
“It’s a girl!” but it’s just my family finding out that our dog is not a boy like we thought for the last two months.
Sometimes I think I’m stupid then I remind myself: Would a stupid person spend years of their life on twitter? Yeah I didn’t think so…
love printers. as all of technology evolves, they take a bold stand and say “no, not only am i not going to improve, i’m not going to even print” and that’s the type of product integrity i can get behind
I’d go to Mastodon, but I have zero dinosaur jokes.
What wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying a day longer than I thought
[Turning a carved Halloween pumpkin around so it’s now a Thanksgiving pumpkin] “haha suck it, Martha Stewart”
Millipede Parent: This little piggy went to market…
*ten years later* …and this little piggy went weee all the way home.
Absolute genius if you ask me 👌🤣
