Def Leppard is short for Definitely Can’t Spell Leopard
Kids forever killing vibes 💀
A friend wants us to do something tonight and I asked her to name 5 things so I could say no to 4 of them.
her: wanna be my fwb?
me: friends with bacon???
her: …
Do you rake up your leaves or do you wait until the wind blows them all over into neighbor’s yard like a normal person?
just saw a guy pull down his sunglasses and look at a firetruck go by like a sexy lady in an 80s movie
don’t you dare tell me journalism is dead
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If you live alone and you have pets they don’t know your name
Is everything ok, babe? You haven’t even touched your eppe
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We have family pictures in 10 days. If everyone starts getting ready now we can still be late.
I eat the baked Cheetos at work so my boss never forgets that I’ll put up with literally anything
bad news gang
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Is it just me, or have KFCs started getting too picky with their ‘no shoes, no shirt, no service’ policy…?
My favorite type of men is ramen.
Yeah, I don’t think this is how it works
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