Def Leppard is short for Definitely Can’t Spell Leopard
Kids forever killing vibes 💀
A friend wants us to do something tonight and I asked her to name 5 things so I could say no to 4 of them.
her: wanna be my fwb?
me: friends with bacon???
her: …
Do you rake up your leaves or do you wait until the wind blows them all over into neighbor’s yard like a normal person?
just saw a guy pull down his sunglasses and look at a firetruck go by like a sexy lady in an 80s movie
don’t you dare tell me journalism is dead
If you live alone and you have pets they don’t know your name
Is everything ok, babe? You haven’t even touched your eppe
We have family pictures in 10 days. If everyone starts getting ready now we can still be late.
I eat the baked Cheetos at work so my boss never forgets that I’ll put up with literally anything
bad news gang
Is it just me, or have KFCs started getting too picky with their ‘no shoes, no shirt, no service’ policy…?
My favorite type of men is ramen.
Yeah, I don’t think this is how it works