Glad I hooked up a subwoofer so the kids can watch TikTok compilations on YouTube with bass that frightens the cat.
Please stay out of the flood waters. They are busy and don’t have time for your bullshit.
If I took every USB cable I’ve ever owned and strung them end-to-end, I’d have a cable 34 miles long that I still couldn’t find when I needed it.
My weight? That’s on a need to know basis and I don’t need to know!
Why did Kermit The Frogs name feel the need to clarify he was a frog?
Ran in the store to get something healthy for breakfast
I got to tell you that this peanut butter, chocolate iced donut is delicious
Engraved on my tombstone:
No matter how the ground shakes
or what you hear,
please do not dig me up.Especially at night.
I just volunteered to take 7 teens on a fishing trip. Who am I, and what does one fish for, besides compliments?
Um … Hot Wings please
We’re all searching for that magical connection & mine came in the form of a chicken wing.
I’m not a 6. I’m two 3s in a trench coat.
No one:
Me trying to remember the person’s name I just met as they’re still talking:
Who needs an Air Fryer?
These are too funny not to post 😂
That guy who narrates the true crime shows has the most soothing voice. He should be reading bedtime stories or something but instead he’s saying stuff like “Then he cut off her head and dumped her car in the river” all chill and mellow.