I don’t shower before work, they don’t deserve my soap.
servant: what size should I make the bed?
king: like this *spreads arms*
wait.
Connor Sadzeck Connor Happyzeck
Please don’t get vaccinated. There’s way too many of you.
a rare painting of a dragon eating spaghetti
*returns shopping cart*
“When I’m in Heaven I wonder if God will seat me to His right or His left?”
My oldest chicken is going through henopause
A shampoo bottle upside-down in the shower is basically your low-fluid indicator light.
Sunday
I don’t know if this would be classified as “unethical” but I have filled my neighbour’s eavestroughs with birdseed.
My entire life is like that scene when Edward Scissorhands discovers a waterbed
Apparently I’m only fluent in English until it comes time to leave a voicemail
Date: so what’s your love language?
Me: English. I wouldn’t say I love it but I knows it