guy in this cafe has been trying to chat to two young girls and when he asked where they were from and what they were doing in liverpool they dramatically revealed that they’re doing mormon missionary work and are now trying to convert him. never seen a power move like it
when i say “i hate drama” i mean i hate being involved in drama. other ppl drama? big fan
“How is the job search going?” first of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know
It’s interesting that the emojis show the earth from three angles 🌎 🌍 🌏 but not the fourth.
Though 🔵 is a fair approximation of what it would look like.
People underestimate the Pacific.
Friend: Wanna go out tonight?
Me: You know the rule, man. I need to be notified at least 3 months in advance.
That’s amazing can I get a bud light please
there should be a crisis hotline to call for anyone who has witnessed me trying to eat a big leaf salad in public
found a horse’s reddit account
I’m a go getter.
I don’t let other people ruin my day.
I ruin my day my damn self
The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by dinosaurs.
Are you there, bankrupt business? It’s me, Spirit Halloween.
I open a fancy cigarette case and offer you a stick of beef jerky.
