Digital security in Ancient Troy
This why you should mind your business
my mum said that im not allowed to go work tomorrow because of the snow so im gonna call my manager tomorrow and tell him my mum said no
I just remembered the time I went on a first date to London Zoo and at the gate he asked if I would mind paying for my own ticket, which I said I would, at which point he pulled out a 2-for-1 voucher, so I paid for my ticket and he went in for free.
Good foods can release dopamine which the brain can interpret as attraction and totally unrelated I made you some chicken parm & fried risotto balls & crispy grilled potatoes & baked you this cake. And an apple pie & cookies and I baked you a loaf of bread for no reason at all
I don’t know what Dorothy’s problem was, tornadoes are great means of transportation
Waiter: how would you like your steak cooked.
Me: like finding out the person you’re talking to in your DM’s is actually single.
Waiter: I’ll ask the chef if we can prepare it that rare.
Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.
My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.
Screw that. I love this bench and I don’t care who knows it!
My 5yo niece when I win the game she just made up
[lying voice] oh my god sorry i JUST saw this
My 12 year old’s response to solicitors calling her is to call them back and act like she’s trying to sell them whatever they were trying to sell to her
excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries
me, interrupting a couple fighting
TV shows and movies have given us the impression that working in the FBI is exciting, but it actually involves carrying a bunch of boxes out of a house. It’s like having to help someone move every day.