My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me
as someone who lives on earth rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid? I’m intrigued
ive never seen any flies in the house but this spider is getting fat so how do I tip a spider?
why I oughta
This squirrel eats better than I do
“Ah a delightful spring day. It reminds me of my youth spent in these hills with my parents and three older siblings. You’ll want to turn left up here but first let me tell you about the season we spent in the cabin by the creek…”
-the new GPS app from Allrecipes
unbelievably distressed by this ad
Her: *seductively raises knee and rests foot on car to expose a lovely thigh
Me: That’s gonna leave a shoe print, get your foot off there.
6 – Dad, why can’t you give princess Elsa a balloon to hold 🎈
Me – Why?
6 – Because she will “Let It Go” 😂
Me – 😢
here we see Penny the diving kitty mid-triple pike, let’s see if she lands this one Steve
ME: *coughs up a hairball* sorry about that
BARBER: wow how much did you eat
I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair
genie: make a wish
bob: I wish I was rich
genie: your wish is granted
rich: thank you
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time
Humans: [being replaced by shapeshifting lizards] ok everyone be on the lookout for people hanging out under heat lamps or eating lots of crickets.