I hope it’s French Onion!
I think I’ll make spicy masala mixture for a curry to serve alongside some naan bread and chai tea, in other words:
spicy spicy mix mix with bread bread and tea tea
Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?
How can you call yourself a pervert?
I’ve never seen you at any of the meetings.
If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?
I feel like it’s customary to lose a meatball out of your sub when you’re wearing your favorite shirt.
Today’s weather from Yorkshire
hoping nobody noticed you peed in the pool like
Sci-fi is when Benedict Cumberbatch looks like this and fantasy is when Benedict Cumberbatch looks like this
ugh fine
…i guess since i’m a
pisces i’ll marry aquaman
me: we should get some flowers for our new apartment
gf: orchids
me: whoa we should get married first
Just put bacon grease in my wax warmer and now Matha Stewart is calling me for tips
If I committed a crime I would simply not leave behind slides with my hair and clothing fibers
Cop: you were going pretty fast there. In a hurry to get somewhere?
Me: nope, just tryna lose the cop back there
adding ‘full stop’ to the end of a sentence makes your statement seem more important. for example, “will somebody please help me fight this mountain lion in my kitchen, full stop.”