Did you know that a cherry pie is $12 in Antigua but only $10 in Barbados?
Those arrr the pie rates of the Carribbean.
#CherriesJubileeDay #RubbishJokes #SaturdayMorning
“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
If they don’t teach the periodic table during it then they shouldn’t call it elementary school.
I clean my house before going away like burglars give yelp reviews.
I just hit my toe and it was at that moment I realized I spoke 4 different languages
I like to send love notes in my husband’s lunch like SORRY THE BREAD IS STALE MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SEAL IT BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE
giddy up Office Depot
“Hi, I have an appoint-“
“JUST HAVE A GODDAM SEAT!”
they should make stand up horror. i’m tired of laughing, i wanna scream at a bar
*gf making spaghetti*
Me: can I get a side of garlic clove with my garlic bread?
Gf: that’s it. You’re not gettin’ any tonight!
Me: sex or clove?? Please say sex, I really need that clove..
Him: What’s in your secret sauce?
Me: My feelings for you.
*wink wink*Him: I knew it tasted weird.
Cute Red panda trying to scare off a stone , by standing..
How come you only hear about folks being distraught? No one’s ever like, “I’m good, Bro. I’m traught as hell.”
For the last time eating highlighters will not give you night vision
Ugh