I had to manually change the channel on the TV because the batteries in the remote died, and now the kids think I know magic.
the clocks on the oven and the microwave this morning:
typical orange cat and void cat behavior
why did I just deep clean my entire apartment before the john mulaney and chappell roan saturday night live episode like they’re physically coming over
Now who done made this a sport lmao
This Turtle was Found by U.S. Coast Guard with $53 million Worth of Cocaine Attached to It.
took my kids to the trampoline park and within minutes one of them was attending a stranger’s birthday party and the other one let me know that she had made an ‘enemy for life’
(The most unconvinced I have ever been in my life) that makes sense
it sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice
British people
