Who taught this was a good idea? The backbreaker.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed.
#ToiletDay #RubbishJokes
i fact checked this, it’s true ☑️
Do dogs think humans are in a constant battle to claim toilets?
Can we all agree that Batman’s parents had a severely underdeveloped sense of self preservation?
If you’re gonna get on Mastodon, I would like to apologise in advance for being the guy responsible for posts being called “Toots”. I thought it was funny. And it is, and it’s even funnier that some people hate it. I take it back, I’m not sorry. Ha ha. Toots.
“It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.”
Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.
I set my clocks back last night but since then, they haven’t stopped. It is currently 170 million years BC. Pterodactyls attack endlessly. The air is thick with screams. Blockbuster video are doing an amazing three night movie rental for just £5.99.
My mom was in town and stopped by with a ‘mom care package’ several days ago.
It included clean wipes because “they’re handy when you know a shower isn’t going to happen.”
I now smell like a toddler.
Pretty sure the guy infront of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.
In-laws going home a day early because I had the audacity to throw away “a good box.”
I never judge a book by its cover.
People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.
Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.
You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family