my daughter responded to my two paragraph text message with a thumbs up. Parenting books don’t explain how to deal with this level of disrespect
Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.
I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.
I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.
what pushes u to watch 19 seasons of mfs in a hospital??
“what that mouth do?” complain
This lady here in Walmart has completely given up on her kids for Lent apparently.
doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day
If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.
‘i have been exhausted since i was 30’
~me as a 29-yr old.
Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.
5’s excuse for not going to sleep last night was that he has the hiccups.
He didn’t hiccup.
He didn’t fake-hiccup.
He just stated that he “has the hiccups”.
Grocery guy here with a reminder…
You don’t “un-thaw” things from the freezer. You “thaw” them. Un-thaw would be freezing it😒
Me: inside me there are two wolves
Wife: omg you fatass you ate my wolf too??
Stranger: Your children are angels
Me: So was the devil