My grandpa would be 97 today if he hadn’t double-crossed me
instead of being able to object at weddings we should be able to object at nursing school graduations
What makes us human?
Selecting all images with traffic lights
All I’m saying is, maybe the designers of this statue could have worked a little harder to find an inspiring Rod Serling quote.
Free on bail. Time to pay some meddling kids a visit.
The girl I’m babysitting doesn’t know that for tonight I’m allowed to let her watch as many Bluey episodes as she wants so she keeps asking for “one more.” And I get to be a benevolent god who gives her another. It’s a real thrill for both of us.
Remember candidates for class president making promises for things they would have no power to implement? Just like real presidential candidates.
airing out the snack pack
Drilling for oil is well boring.
Happy for shogun. The show that dared to ask questions like “what if we have good lighting?” and “what if you can see what’s happening? Even at night???”
friend got a quirky ouija board rug for her house and now i mainly hang out there waiting for the roomba to summon demons and shit.
Restaurant bathrooms are really, really dangerous.
So many of my 1st dates have gone to use them and vanished.
The officer looked pretty stupid when I asked him to show me the law that’s says I can’t have a rotisserie oven in my truck.