Bidets will go down in the anals of history. There, I said it.
it isnt your fault that you are unhappy and unsuccessful. in my 6 week online course i will teach you the true reason why your life is bad: a witch cursed you with “misery orb” at birth. i will show you how to locate and extract the orb from your brain using household items
I keep hearing it takes a village to raise a child. Do they just show up or is there a number to call?
It’s been 24 years. I think they can’t find me.
Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.
Let us remember him by his own last words: “Homemade jetpack, don’t fail me now.”
Oh no Moo Deng noo!!
“I’m 59 but have a biological age of 21” sorry if you are 59 your biological age is 59 because you are 59 years old
Everything becomes normal eventually. Think of the most beautiful spot on earth, the place you would give your left arm to see just once before you die. There’s a tour guide who works there, and he wakes up every morning thinking, “Oh god, not this shit again.”
Don’t beat an alive horse either.
How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo
😂🐈⬛
don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. it took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels
I accidentally hit a parked car so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”
I wish I was as confident as my 15 yo who says he showered even though he smells like onions and rotten taco bell.
