Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.
If caterpillars can become a melted sack of goo, and turn it around to become fabulous, so can you
Broke a plate. Now it’s Canadian.
New nose
waiter: you wanna box for your leftovers?
me: i gotta fight you for them?
Me: I need to go for a run to clear my head.
Also me, 500 feet down the road: OK that’s clear enough.
Always the vampires
I have no idea what is happening here but it is the best thing I’ve seen today!
Don’t talk to me about pain, I once had to teach my boomer mother that she can rewind her tv program and kept repeating “NO it WON’T effect anyone else who is watching it, mum”
Our dog is a bulldog/beagle/pug mix and I’ve just discovered that all this time, my youngest and most confused child has thought he was a “baldeagle/pug” mix.
