always be there
Arrest that man!
[exiting the voting booth with a little cup of urine] does anybody know who I give this too?
My husband ordered takeout tonight from a place that previously ignored his note about pickles so he tried to make it stand out.
Just left the polling place and they’re…clapping? They’re saying I was the best voter and I was so easy to work with and listened to the instructions so well and I made all the correct choices and no ones ever done it as well as me before. The poll worker lady is crying
I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.
I hope you folks are recycling correctly
As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.
every time I roll over in the middle of the night
starting my period on election day because i’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country
[spotify ai voice] ayo it’s ya dj, x. comin up, i’m gonna play you some music that sucks
babe wake up, it’s stupid outside
I basically called this earlier today
I counted the yard signs in my neighborhood, and “ADT Home Security” is going to win in a landslide.