*takes a long, hard drag on a candy cigarette*
A Viking in the midst of battle doesn’t have time to stop and cook dinner. WarDash™ brings your favorite meal right to your war.
How did the small bear lookalike creature got home when it’s scooter broke down?
Ewok’d the rest of the way.
#BearDay #RubbishJokes
My kids found their Kit Kats then accused me of hiding them. Like WTF, how shameful are these kids to go in to my closet?
My neighbour got drunk and left a case of beer on his front porch last night.
In other news, I just got a free case of beer.
Trust the software, it knows things you and I do not!
nothing about reading dr seuss has convinced me that he’s actually a doctor
same energy
Everyday is talk like a pirate day if you’re committed and annoying enough
When I was a kid and my dad was 40yo, I used to think he must be an old man who was practically almost dead.
Now that I’m nearing 40, I know the truth: I was right.
Bring your kids to work day was a huge success. One of the children fixed our server.
I saw an attractive girl in the UK and said to her “you look like a million pounds”. That’s how I got this black eye.
I’m going to buy velcro strips for my sneakers.
I mean, why knot?
#SneakersDay #RubbishJokes
How does a mule unlock a door?
With a don-key.
#MuleDay #RubbishJokes
Cain was the first to call out Abelism.