when the author kills off your favorite character 😭😭😭
Handing out one tic tac each this Halloween so that children can learn that life is full of little disapointments
Nicknamed my newly crawling baby Roomba, for the obvious reasons
Ok, I’ve joined #Mastodon but also this
Why are they called “nuns” when chickmonks was sitting right there?
Admin smashed it 😂
Why are trains so expensive? You going that way anyways, just drop me off
They’re a 10 but they use only the amount of garlic listed in the recipe.
[first day as a doorman]
me: bye, thanks for coming
sperm bank manager: *pulling me to the side* this was literally the first thing we talked about
I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button & I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.
Locked in the target…STRIKE! 👀😏😂🐕
This is how classically trained musicians beautifully battle on stage
Ok you know that Australian speed skater who won gold because he was in last place but everyone in front of him got into a crash and he won? I think that might be tumblr
Very funny, think he has a bet on a horse 😂
i just went through my sons belongings and i think he might be cheating at chess