My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.
I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work
A homeless man asked me for money. I had 10 dollars in my pocket and didn’t want it wasted on alcohol so I gave it to him.
At my funeral sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man
Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.
ex gf moved out and took all the herbs and spices. i will never financially recover from this
Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.
Someone stole the C and L off my work besties door, which I guess was probably pretty predictable in hindsight…
incredible google review i just found
Most Common Source of Electricity
I have been told to stop stealing muffins from the bakery. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to keep my lucrative muffin stand in business. Everyone is fine with this.
