podcaster 40 mins into an ep: okay, so let’s just dive right in
Hi Walmart, I don’t think mushrooms will work.
THE CAST OF “CATS” AS MEDIEVAL CAT PAINTINGS: A THREAD
Everyone’s a gangster until they have to roll forward while sitting in an office chair.
Me: If I take these, will you do that thing I like?
My sinuses: Oh yeah baby, we’ll let you breathe.
me: oh… exhibition game
rest of the basketball team: would you PLEASE put some clothes on
Samurai v. Cat ..who will win…🐈🐈
#TuesdayMotivaton
Incorporate the word ‘verily’ into casual conversations so they don’t know what century you’re from
Things will get butter, keep churning
When you write a scene that finally fixes that one plot hole.
huge drama on my block rn. basically my crows got tired of the local squirrels always taking some of the food i leave out. so now, as an act of retaliation— the crows are going yard to yard, finding the squirrels’ stashes, & eating everything. squirrels are watching in horror
My house could be 99% tile and my kid would still barf directly onto the rug.
guy inventing constellations: see that square? it’s a fish
it must be school picture day
We were watching a reality show with really annoying people and I said they made me wanna puke and my husband said he wanted to torch the TV and my 13yo was like “just let them be happy” and I don’t know how we raised a child who doesn’t know how to hate watch something properly.