Have a lovely day 😊
you ever try to cook with friends who swear up and down they don’t know how to cook from scratch? you kind of laugh it off at first (just follow the recipe how hard could it be) and then you realize they don’t know how to chop a tomato
btw the stereotype of americans i have run into the most so far in europe is that americans work themselves to death for nothing
Always check your candy. I opened a bag of M&Ms and found a bunch of Ws.
just overheard someone on the train ask another passenger where they got their elf ears because they the perfect “sort of weirdly shaped but weirdly realistic pair” and folks, they were not elf ears
50+ Tweets in Collection
Some Ok-ish Kinda Funny Halloween Tweets
It’s that time of year again! The scariest night of the year is back and it has brought some of the best things we all have been waiting for. From the candy and costumes to the downright weirdness, the Halloween season is a unique blend of being spooky, scary, and funny. It also never fails […]
30+ Tweets in Collection
Funniest Food Tweets on the Internet
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
employee: how does it look?
vampire in a changing room: I can’t see myself wearing this
My house is almost 80 years old, so are some of the spiders, judging by the size of them.
I’m not afraid to say it, I’m against problems.
Ghost: *knocks slowly three times on door*
Me: That’s not the secret knock and if you were *actually* in the Kevin Bacon secret fan club you’d know that
2 for me, 1 for you
2 for me, 1 for you
2 for me, 1 for you
2 for me, 1 for you
2 for me, 1 for youMe, handing out Halloween candy
I think this was a scene from “The Birds”
Her: When I said a night guard I meant one of those things that protects your teeth overnight.
Me: *removes samurai helmet* Oh.