on this day in 2001 my roommate picked up the phone and canceled at 93% my Napster download of Ms. Jackson by Outkast that had been going for 11 hours
a murderer snaps my neck but my body just slowly starts to turn neon green
Imagine if you had a sunflower seed as big as a laptop. That is everyday life for a hamster.
did I “kill a plant” or did the plant not have what it takes to thrive in this fast-paced environment
Keeping up with the Kardashians is exhausting tbh.
“Don’t wind up the dog, he’ll be annoying”
Me:
When you’re here for the treats.
told my son how we used to wear basketball shorts under our jeans and he looked at me like i asked him the square root of something
If u see me talking to myself don’t say nun to me I’m having a staff meeting
bro: she stressing u out g??
me:
manipulators b like yes i hurt u but now u hate me so I’m the true victim
Thinking outside the box.. 😅
Why he land on that little girl like that☠️
“Do you really let your dog sleep in the bed with you??”
My dog:
You let a man into your life and now you’re irritated before 9 am