I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac
“The library was closed yesterday.”
“Yes.”
“I tried to call with a question.”
“Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“It was kind of important.”
“Well can I help you with it now?”
“I wanted help yesterday.”
“Well, I’m here now.”
“Okay fine. What’s Harrison Ford’s astrological sign?”
I’m the neighbor
I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in my bathtub holding a crucifix.
Hello 911, something is wrong with my teenager and he won’t tell me what it is
Yesterday I wore something from 10 years ago that actually fit…It was a scarf but still
went for a walk, Very pleasant evening. the squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. that stung a little. I will remember their faces
Shout out to Grok for making this image I requested of elderly people hugging for an article I’m writing and not realizing until after I submitted the piece that this guy has two right arms in different sleeve material.
mandolin: finally a violin for men
Vote for me I’ll cut the alphabet in half
Me: I’m proud of you for completing your project and I’m sorry for screaming like a feral raccoon.
10: Don’t worry girlie when I’m a mom I’m gonna do the same thing.
I had a well check visit today & my doctor, in the middle of listening to my chest, asked me how the library was & if it was busy now that kids were back in school.
I don’t work at a library. I don’t know what he’s talking about.
I just rolled with it. The library is fiiiiiine.
so awkward to break up with a friend at the Renaissance Fair who is the back-half of your Centaur costume 😥
[ 35 years later ]
*sits bolt upright*
OMG SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH ME !
sometimes we need to be reminded
