Awwwwww he is confused! ❤️🤣🤣
Awwwwww he is confused! ❤️🤣🤣
It’s going to be really hot over the next couple of days so please remember to leave out a wee bowl of cider & blackcurrant incase a goth comes into your garden.
Make friends at the park by telling strangers that you died in this exact spot 200 years ago today
i like dropping bombshells on my therapist in the last few minutes so it feels like we’re ending each session on a cliffhanger
(at a party)
them: truth or dare.
me: dare.
them: go home.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You’ve tried all of them on?”
“This one.”
When people ask your age, respond in Celsius.
I work out just enough so I can still chase the ice cream truck.
Chicken bread
*listening to music at the beach*
6yo: Dad, can you play Baby Shark?
Me: No, I don’t have that song I can’t play it.
6yo: You can play it you just don’t want to hear it so you’re lying.
Me: That is correct, yes.
“It’s too late. You can’t stop it now.”
– Every villain in every single movie moments before the hero stops them now
As a dad it’s your duty to ask “how were the roads?” within fifteen minutes of a visitors arrival
This morning I brushed my hair with an American Girl doll brush because, apparently, she is the only one in my house who puts things back where they belong.