I’m looking for a new telekinesis class. My old one moved unexpectedly
Tapped in
Window air conditioners are the camel of the appliance world.
You haven’t turned the A/C on in a month? It has rained 0.04″ in the past 2 weeks? Don’t worry, the A/C has planned for this and has stored up water to pour out onto your pants and the floor as soon as you remove it.
Turtles made out of plastic straws, problem solved
Did I age well? Well I bent down to look in a low cupboard earlier and made a noise like an asthmatic Chewbacca who’s just heard some bad news, so I’m going to say no.
has anybody else completely lost it or is it
just me and kanye
Ever notice how the most sensitive topics love to crash the party at the worst times? Like, “Yes, I’m totally ready to unpack childhood trauma… in the grocery store line.”
Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.
If I was a marriage counselor, I would make the couple each use ANY dating app for 2 minutes.
“AI is future of art, music, and writing!”
The future:
I could murder a cheese sandwich. I’m not hungry. I just think I’d be capable of that.
Working with older people is annoying sometimes. Sir, your lunch at my age was Gin. Why you hassling me about adding salad dressing?!
i set my alarms extra early to make sure i have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up
I need to know what happened here in 1620.
