I called the fire dept to get my cat out of a tree and they said they don’t do that so I told them them he had a lighter.
So after 75 long days, this week is finally over
I called the fire dept to get my cat out of a tree and they said they don’t do that so I told them them he had a lighter.
“omfg i hate him so much i can’t stop looking at him”
“……um friend is that really how hate works?”
them: what time do you put your kids to bed
me: as soon as possible
keep reaching for the stars, kid:
Thinking about the time I bought 20+ 90s CDs in goodwill, only to come out to my car and realize I don’t even have a CD player…
SCAM ALERT – IMPORTANT
The cat has already been fed.
I can’t wait when I’m old enough to blame my age on why I’m stealing batteries and cheese
I would learn how to backflip but i’m saving spinal injuries for after i’m 60
I get it roosters, I scream when I wake up in the morning too
Back in the day, we didn’t have google just a drunk uncle.
i don’t think it’ll all fit in there
welcome back
I use the incognito browser to search how to do the things I told my wife I know how to do