I just post them. I don’t explain them.
Cinema or bowling
date: I like guys who are not afraid to show their artistic side
me: [to waiter] can I get a crayon and kid’s menu
energy cannot be created nor destroyed
Got banned from all the chemists in my town for calling them pharmas markets.
Friend: I feel like half of the country is upset about the election.
Me: (knowing how votes work) slightly less than half.
This election could drag on for days. Unless someone captures the Snitch, then it ends immediately.
My boss just texted me and said,“Send me one of your funny jokes please.”
I replied “ I’m working hard at the moment,I will send you one later.”He replied, “That was fantastic,send me another one.”
I have always wanted to do this 😭😭
Picking up some anvils, tunnel paint, and dynamite balloons
I know there are bigger problems in the world right now but I’ve just realised I’ve never seen a baby seagull.
It’s amazing how much destruction a 4yo can cause between the hours of 5:30 and 5:37 am.
