Have you tried soaking yourself in rice to fix your problems?
~ Me as a therapist
termite twitter scares me
dude!! we are on the same team! get a helmet that fits.
This is literally the only instance I’ve ever seen someone “asking for it”
I could finish folding this laundry much faster if the cat would stop “helping”!
Sometimes the best questions do not have immediate answers
sorry but who wants to search “price: high to low”
All I’m saying is that just once it’d be nice for the cat to be the one pointing the laser for me to chase.
Not sure which is more mortifying, the dog bringing your dirty panties to the repairman or the repairman balling them up and throwing them for her.
Every Batman actor should have to audition with this scene.
me the second it drops below 70 degrees
invention of lasagna: what if pasta was a book
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strongly relate to the honey cake’s needs
Ever notice how crickets can be ventriloquists? You think you’ve figured out where they are in the house only to hear that they’re somewhere behind you.