me: the show is at 7, want to get there at 6:45?
dad: sure 6 it is
me: i said 6:45
dad: yup 6
me: 6:30?
dad: right we’re on the same page, 6
me: we don’t need to get there an hour early
dad: we can’t arrive right at showtime
me: there are other options
dad: i don’t understand
I fail to see how his relationship status is of any relevance
what could possibly go wrong?
frodo threw my serotonin into mount doom.
When they said “it takes a village” I thought they were referring to raising a child not keeping up with laundry.
me pausing my music to see if the siren is in the song or its outside
Who needs Botox when some discreetly placed scotch tape and social distancing are a thing.
A Facebook group named “Humans Against Herd Behavior” was created yesterday. So far, 10,000 people have joined the group.
Liquor Store Parking
Lifehack: Save your gently used pistachio shells to throw at weddings in lieu of expensive rice!
him: my dad left when I was younger, around 7
me: before rush hour, smart move
My professor handed back our 3 page film essays to my surprise I got a C after class I asked her why “you were supposed to write it about the movie The Emperor of Time.. you wrote it on The Emperor’s new Groove but it was kinda good so I didn’t fail you” so thats how im doing
I just donated all my pants with buttons because I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life
why does this building look like a guilty dog
How to draw a duck
